My Life

its been a while…

i told my mom that i cut myself after my dad threatened to fuck me up and i cut and he saw and told her.

i broke up with ashley because she was cheating on me.

im going out with niki<3

i love her with all my heart.

i didnt buy the drugs, i decided it was a bad choice.

warped tour was AWSHUM!!!!

and im bi.

thats all tht happend while i was having a life instead of blogging.

=]

I’m in Florida!!!

And I can’t sleep bcuz the cockroaches will eat mi flesh Dx

:D

I get to try pot soon. One of mi frinds frinds is selling me sum^-^
my parents don’t think I cut anymore

Ok I’ve calmed down…a little

I was eating lunch and my mom saw a cut on the outside of my arm and asked to see my other arm and I said why and she grabbed it and I pulled away and:
Mom: are you a cutter now?! If you need to feel pain I’ll kick your ass!
Dad: what the hell is wrong with you
Me: no!
Mom: I could take you to a therapist if you need to talk to someone.
Me: …
Dad: are you ok?
Me: yea(lying)
So I finished eating and ran to my room and cried twice and called julia and texted Kayla and Ashley and imed patrick on facebook about what just happened. I’m considering therapy…I’ll write more in the next few days but I’m tired and I wanna c Ashley tomorrow morning:)
She kissed me today
It was great
I love her

I knew it would happen sometime….

My parents found out about the cutting, my mom grabbed my arm and…I’m scared and fixing to cry

I’M NOT HUNGOVER WOOOOOHHOOOO lol I’m the only one not hungover too. God it’s beautiful outside…I think I’ll go out there and never come back cuz I finally took mi jacket off for my parents and they haven’t seen the cut(s) yet but I’m skard they will

Omg this is mi frst time drunk I love it!!! Lmfao I fell as I’m typn the wid mi ipawd

I’m a fucking failure

Pedophile Teachers, Referalls, Drugs, and Self Injury

My English teacher Mr. Snipes is a fucking pedophile I swear! The other day I heard that he texts guys he likes what’s your elephant number and that really means how many times they jacked off. I’m freaked out about that for two reasons: 1. He knows my cell phone number because of facebook
2. I think he has a crush on me and one of my friends.
And there is another teacher at my school Mr. Parker I think, he takes pictures of girls n his class and keeps them! So…that’s creepy.
I got a goddamn referral on Friday for the most retarded fucking reason: I sat down during the morning stretch! That is like…fucktarded. My teacher Mrs. Patrick, freaks out when I don’t do the stretch. HER fat ass needs to do the fuckin stretch! I’m fine. But the thing that really pisses me off is what she said. She was like,”listen collin, I know you don’t want to participate in seventh grade day and you’re just trying to get a referall to get out of it, I’m not stupid.”
THAT FUCKING PISSED ME OFF. The next time she says ANYTHING like that, I’m cussing her out.
I’ve been reading a lot about ecstasy and pot and that stuff and it actually sounds pretty cool….so yea I might actually try it.
Ahhh, last but definetely not least: Self-Injury. As you know(I think) I used to cut. I did since the summer after fifth grade. I’m going into the summer before eighth. I tried to stop at the beginning of the year but that failed. I tried to stop in February but that failed. I most recently stopped in march and now it’s April. So, I’m considering going back again because I know I’ll only start again, I’m pathetic, I can’t go a day without caffeine, how will I survive the rest of my life without the blade? Plus, what’s the point in stopping? I mean, sure i’ll have less scars but, how will I cope? I could talk with my friends that used to cut but what if they tell my parents or someone if I’m feeling the urge to and what if I get sent to a hospital? What if my doctor sees the scars on my legs? I’m really scared. I need a cig

sum up life in 3 words: IT GOES ON

acarcrashheart:

life isn’t going to stop and wait around for you to pick yourself up, it keeps going, just like time, it doesn’t stop. So get yourself together quick because you’ve already wasted time. That thing in your chest isn’t beating, its counting down. Birth is a terminal disease. I’m dying a day at a time. SO GO.